I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo

I've been trying to ditch my medication for good and I feel absolute shit because of that.

I've already been using this specific medication for a couple of years (I've used it for my depression and social anxieties) but I finally feel like I could probably be fine without them, or I'd like to just try.

When I first started to use these meds I didn't really know anything about them, I just knew what they were going to help me with. They were a big help, there's no way I can deny that, but I'm also really horrified about the withdrawals. 

I've tried to lower my portions but that's really no help. 

It's crazy, I feel mostly okay inside my head, but physically I'm a wreck.

I feel really dizzy all the time, like I'm gonna faint or fall down. Sometimes I feel like my feet are sinking through the floor when I'm walking. My mind is a mess, I seem to drift away, I don't understand that people are talking to me but I'm not thinking anything either, I'm just not there.

Because of all this mess, I'm a bitch. I get irritated SO easily, I'm rude, I yell, I get angry. And I hate this the most.

If any of you have gotten rid of your medication (that causes withdrawals) for good, how the fuck did you honestly do it?

But yeah, sorry about me opening up so much, I have a one TV show to share with you.

My new favourite show is Mr. Robot. This show follows a young computer programmer who suffers from social anxiety disorder. It might seem kind of boring, especially if you're not into hacking and nerdy stuff, but trust me on this one. I've only seen like 3 episodes (there's 9 episodes so far and the last episode of this season is coming in 4 days) but I know that I'm gonna love it. I don't know what I can say about it without ruining the experience for you. I knew basically nothing about the show, what caught me was the rating of it on IMDB (9,1). I'm not the only one who's seen a lot of similarities with this and Fight Club (they even play Where Is My Mind by Pixies at some point of the show) and that's a good thing. 

The only actor that probably everyone will know is Christian Slater. The young cast is pretty unknown and I love that about it. I'm just pretty sick of seeing the same faces all over again.

The main character Elliot, the hacker dude, is so adorable in a weird way. He has these big bug eyes and has a stupid grin on his face all the time.

I don't know what to say, I'm probably not the best person to talk about this show since I've only seen like 1/3 of it, but I just got to share it with you. Really, check it out, even my introduction isn't that good. 

I also wanted to share my hair with you, I'm kind of blonde! Most of you probably already 

follow my Instagram, but if you don't, here's my hair!

I feel pretty great with it actually. I've never had anything like this, I've always had fairly dark hair. 

This hair color happened because I was supposed to dye my hair green (I don't know what I was thinking, I would've looked like a 14-year-old emo girl) so we had to lighten my hair. I kind of fell in love with it, and now I really love it. 

Some of you probably think that dark hair suits me better, but I also love the change of it. I've been a brunette for so long that it became boring,

Punctuation, is? fun!

Some of my favourite things of the week

Coloring books for adults. I only got these books today but I've been already coloring for hours. It's really relaxing and fun.

iZombie. I discovered this show a couple of weeks ago and it is plain awesome. I've never been a fan of zombies., I don't read or watch shows/movies about them, but I got hooked instantly. 

After being turned into a zombie, Liv Moore finds a job in a morgue, since it is possibly the easiest way to find brains to eat. Every time Liv eats someone's brains, she gets the victim's memories and habits. She also gets flashbacks and this way she helps the police to solve their murders. 

I don't want to reveal too much, but you should definitely check it out.

Flowers for Algernon. This became one of my favourite books almost instantly. I bought this book randomly when I needed a book to read at a bus. I remembered that I heard the name somewhere but I didn't know anything else about it.

The book tells a story of Charlie Gordon, a man who has an IQ of 68. Charlie gets the change to have his intelligence increase by a surgery. He's the very first human to undergo the procedure, they did the same surgery to a mouse named Algernon and the surgery was successful. I don't want to ruin the book for you, so if you're interested, don't read anything about it and just read the book. It's very heartbreaking, sweet and sad story, I loved everything about it.