Picking five favorite books is like picking the five body parts you'd most like not to lose

I used to hoard things. 

Those things could be pretty much anything (like having 15 lipsticks while only using 2 of them, or having 8 vases when I never bought flowers) and in most cases I wasn't even passionate about those things, I just liked to hoard them.

Some people might call it collecting, but I know there's a line between collecting and hoarding. You're not supposed to ''collect'' everything you kinda like. You're not supposed to forget those things almost right after you buy them.

And like I've said before, I used to fill something inside me by buying things. I didn't have a hobby, I was quite lonely, I felt misunderstood and I think I didn't live my life the way I wanted to. I was living, but I wasn't experiencing things I've always wanted to experience.

Now, I'm happy with my life. I have a job, a nice place, an amazing and loving boyfriend, and most importantly - I'm doing things! I'm trying to experience everything I can. I don't have the need to buy things all the time anymore. Sure, I still buy pointless things, but I don't dream about what I'm going to buy next and I try not to live through the material world. I want to be present in this world I'm living right now and I don't think it's possible if you try to fill something with shopping all the time.

But there is one thing. I don't know, maybe it's not unhealthy or anything to collect (or hoard, however you wanna put it) something. Like a thing or two.

My weakness is books, that's one thing that I can't seem to get rid of. I read them, but mostly I buy them. I like the feeling of owning a bookshelf full of books, I love to hold a book in my hand, I like turning the pages, I love visiting bookstores. And I love buying books.

I took photos of every single shelf in my bookshelf (I still have like 20 books somewhere else in our apartment but those books are comic books or something else than novels and memoirs). I marked the books I've read in red so you can see what I'm talking about. 

 

1. Rosemary's Baby 2. The Disaster Artist 3. The Secret Book of Frida Kahlo

4. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

5. George's Marvellous Medicine 6. Coraline

7. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 1-5 8. Valley of the Dolls

9. We Have Always Lived in the Castle 10. Night Film 11. Yes Please

12. Naoko 13. Audition 14. In the Miso Soup 15. Piercing

16. The Housekeeper and the Professor 17. The Night Circus

18. The Double 19. The Great Gatsby 20. The Virgin Suicides 21. Bowie: A Biography

22. The Goddess Chronicle 23. Interview with the Vampire 

24. The Journals of Sylvia Plath 25. The Power of Now

26. The Master and Margarita 27. One Hundred Years of Solitude

28. The Moomins and the Great Flood 29. Requiem for a Dream

30. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest 31. In Cold Blood 32. A Court of Thorns and Roses

33. Cinder 34. Repeat It Today with Tears 35. Snuff 36. The Little Friend

37. Tell the Wolves I'm Home 38. Spirit Bound 39. Fight Club 40. Life After Life

41. The Imam's Daughter 42. Go Ask Alice 43. We Disappear 44. To Kill a Mockingbird

45. Book of Ghost Stories 46. How to Marry a Finnish Girl 47. The Kiss

48. Undiscovered Gyrl 49. The BFG 50. Not the End of the World 51. The Secret History 

52. Middlesex 53. The Goldfinch 54. Scars 55. Scarlet 56. The Master and Margarita

57. My Year of Meats 58. A Tale for the Time Being 59. Out 60. Coin Locker Babies

61. Lolita 62. When Marnie Was There 63. Notes From Underground 

64. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass 

65. Ariel: The Restored Edition 66. The Red House 67. Invisible Monsters Remix

68. Slasher Girls & Monster Boys 69. Unissakulkija 70. Varistyttö 71. Varjojen huone

72. Vampire Academy 73. The Bell Jar 74. The Secret Garden 75. Nancy

76. The Picture of Dorian Gray 77. Blood Promise 78. Frostbite 79. Emily of New Moon

80. Dear Diary 81. And Then There Were None 82. Girl, Interrupted 

83. En tahdo kuolla, en vain jaksa elää 84. My Cat Yugoslavia 85. Malala 

86. Not That Kind of Girl 87. The Most Beautiful Woman in Town & Other Stories

88. The Society of the Crossed Keys 89. American Psycho 

90. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Other Stories 91. Confessions 92. Bloodlines

93. Let the Right One in 94. The Pleasures of Men 95. Stardust 

96. Boy in the Stripes Pajamas 97. All the Light We Cannot See

98. Inkeri palasi Ruotsista 99. A Million Little Pieces 100. See You in the Cosmos

101. Big Little Lies 102. Lolita 103. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? 104. Why Not Me?

105. The Girl with Seven Names 106. Naive. Super 107. How I Live Now

108. The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories 109. A Clockwork Orange

110. Diana 111. Extremely Loud & Incredible Close 112. Flowers for Algernon

113. Zoo Station 114. Pablo Neruda's Selected Poems 115. Funny Girl

116. The Girls 117. A Thousand Splendid Suns 

118. The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea 

119. The Happiness Project 120. The Happiness Project (in Finnish)

121. The Outsiders 122. Bossypants 123. Tyttö, sinä olet... 124. Shadow Kiss

125. Last Sacrifice 126. A Tale of Love and Darkness 127. Moominsummer Madness

128. The Wild Things 129. The Truth About the Harry Quebert Affair

So, that's 58/129 (or 59 because there's two copies of Lolita). 

Yeah, I think that's kinda bad. I buy books, forget to read them, and buy some more. 
I'm not defending myself (or I might just a little), but I work with books and I sometimes buy them for really cheap. Who can resist books that cost almost nothing? I can't clearly.

I usually give away the books I didn't like that much, but I still have a few books in both Finnish and English, so I think I should arrange my bookshelf once again and get rid of some of those pieces. 

And I definitely should start reading books I already own.

A word after a word after a word is power

I hope that you, the person reading this right now, aren't too hopeful about my blog. I would love to write often, but I think we all know that's not really how I do it anymore.

I get this really big urge to write something every once in a while (and lately that urge has come to me more often). Especially when I see a fantastic movie, read an exciting book or find some new show to binge watch.

I guess I've always been like that, getting so excited about the alternative world of movies, books and TV-shows and I've always loved to talk about them and I think most people around me are getting tired of it sometimes. I understand them, though, it must be heavy to hear someone talk about a movie you saw together already a week ago. Or to hear someone talk about a movie you haven't even seen at all and have no interest to do so. Or to hear someone tell you the whole plot to a movie you were just planning to see for the first time.

And at those times I really feel like writing a blog could make me a more tolerable person to those closest to me. If I get some of those things out of my system and talk to you about them instead. It could be fun. It was fun while it lasted, but I kinda sucked at it and put a lot of pressure on myself. If I do this for fun and feel that I can post once in two months if that feels the best for me to do, I think I could totally handle this thing.

What am I planning not to blog about? 

About my personal stuff. I used to do that and it wasn't that bad. It sometimes sucked that I had a feeling everyone knew what I was going through, who I was dating, who I was hanging out with. I don't have a need to share those things anymore. I might share how I'm feeling, how some things make me feel and easy stuff like that, but I don't think everyone should know everything about me. But who knows, maybe I start sharing too much when I get comfortable about all of this writing and taking photos and stuff. I can see myself doing that, I'm not the best at keeping ''promises''.

About fashion. That really isn't my stuff anymore. I don't know what happened, is it the fact that I gained a decent amount of weight and at some point didn't care that much how I look? Is it the fact that I feel like there's more to it than how you look? It's probably neither. I think it's the fact that I'm lazy. I just don't have the time or energy to think about what to wear or what would look great with what. It's also my loss of imagination, I just don't think anyone wants to see photos after photos after photos of me wearing my black (or sometimes even blue!) jeans, Vans Old Skools and maybe a cardigan or something. I will show occasional photos of some clothing pieces I've bought, but I'm pretty sure you're not going to see my outfits of the day.

What will I blog about, other than movies, books and TV-shows?

Whatever I am interested in at the moment. Even now, as a 24-year-old, my interests in life change quite a lot. Not as drastically as when I was 16, but I still get bored easily. Some interests can last for 6 months or even longer and some things only for a few weeks. You'll never know. 

I'm already making my next blog post as you're reading this, and I will post my favourite things of the month at the end of every month (or I will try to remember to do so). Those favourites can be things I've bought, things I've done, places I've visited. Pretty much anything. 

If there is someone, anyone, reading this right now, I am totally open to any suggestions about things you would like for me to write.

But how could you live and have no story to tell?

Okay, so my promise to blog more didn't really go as I planned, but I'm here now.

I've been working like crazy, but I'm gonna have my vacation in 4 days! It feels so weird to think that I don't have to work in 3 weeks, cause I've been working my ass off for over a year now with no vacation.

So my plan number 2 is to carry my camera with me and photograph all the little things I do during my summer. We're gonna go to Budapest next Friday for 4 days and I'm planning to take tons of photos. It's our first small vacation together (okay we once went to Tallinn but it was only for 4 hours or so) so I'm really excited about that. 

But as I mentioned, I still have to work for 4 days and I don't have any cool photos to share with you, so I decided to take photos of my small place.  

I honestly really love living here. I live in Sörnäinen and my place is pretty expensive and pretty small, but the place is just perfect.

Space tourism posters from Aliexpress, Gustav Klimt painting from Ikea and floor lamp 2nd hand (I think it's originally from Clas Ohlson).

One of my favourite things in our place are these space tourism posters. I really love the kind of 70's colour scheme in them and I wish I had more things in yellow, green and orange in here.

Fornasetti pillow cases from Aliexpress.

Table from Ikea, pillow cases from Aliexpress and sofa from Jysk.

I really love the way my sofa looks, it's really pretty and just the style I want, but it's the most uncomfortable thing ever. 

I'm gonna wash my windows any day now. Probably.

My newest obsession are these Korean sheet masks. They're just that tiny luxury that I need during my workdays.

Watching Skam. I'm so in love with Sana and I've liked season 4 far more than the other seasons.

Poster & lamp from Ikea.

I have a fairly large kitchen for a place this small, but I'm not complaining. 

Poster from Aliexpress.

As you can see, I have tons of decoration items from Aliexpress. I'm just not ready to spend a lot of money on things like that. 

Rug from Ikea.

My skin care items and other stuff. My bathroom is really small and my floor is full of shampoos, soaps and other stuff. 

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self

While I'm writing this, I'm still not sure if I'm gonna end up publishing this post or not. 

I ended up reading my old blog posts and I kind of miss having someone to tell my pointless little things to and I miss taking photos so much. Since my latest blog post last year I'm pretty sure I haven't touched my camera not even once and it really saddens me and the solution to that is really simple - just take photos and post them here. Nothing fancy, just the way you used to do. I'm not gonna stress about having a blog, I'm just gonna try it out once again and see how I feel about it.

What has changed in my life since last August? Pretty much everything.

I'm not in a relationship anymore. I was together with B for almost 3 years and it wasn't that something awful happened, it was how it always is - I didn't feel like I was in the right place or with the right person anymore. We're still really good friends and I'm really grateful of that.

So, because of that, I live alone now. For the first time ever in my life. And guess what? It doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would. It feels pretty great to be able to cope with all this real adult stuff (it's not all fun, but it's important for me to know that I am able to keep myself alive and do the boring necessary stuff without losing my place or getting my electricity cut off). I love my little place so much and it all feels so right and it all feels like home. When I think of home I feel like I'm just in the right place I need to be in right now. Yeah, living in the city can be pretty expensive, but it's so worth it and I don't think I could find a better place for me at this price. I love it how I can go to a bar and walk home from there really easily. I love it that if I feel alone I can just step out of my place and I'm surrounded by people. I love it that it usually takes me around 10 minutes to leave my place, go grocery shopping and be back at my place. I just love everything about this and for the first time in a long time I am truly happy about where I am and where I am heading with my life. It's not all perfect, I still don't know how to manage my money (I have 12€ in my bank account and I'm getting paid next week) but I'm working on it and I'm gonna do great. Just watch me, I'm gonna make it.

I'm much more stable than I used to be and I'm not just saying that and feeling like a wreck 5 minutes later like I used to do. I'm actually doing pretty ok with my mental health. I'm off my medication for good and I don't feel depressed anymore. I do still feel sadness, and sometimes it feels like everything is falling down, but this time I know how to stand up and get on with it. It's ok to feel sad and it's ok that not everything is perfect, but it's important to know that those feelings are only temporary. Everything is up to you, you are the only one responsible for your own happiness. Don't depend on other people with that. If you are unhappy about your life, no one else is going to change that for you.

I used to be unhappy and that made me buy a lot of things I didn't need. Like for many, shopping was my therapy. I bought all this stupid shit, mostly clothing I was never gonna use, make up products that didn't suit my face at all and all this pointless crap from flea markets ''cause it's cheap, so why not''. And those things didn't make me happy for more than a few days. And after getting tired of it, I bought more stuff. It was never going to end, cause the world was full of things I didn't need, but did need. After getting my life in a better order, I noticed that I wasn't attached to materialistic things like I used to anymore. Yeah, buying a jacket that looks good on me still feels really great, but I don't need 10 of those jackets. 

After breaking up with B I was in a really shitty place in my life, I thought that I could never handle being alone. And then Tinder came into my life. It was fun for a while, I'm not gonna deny it, but the way I was dating (I spent almost all my free time with new people and new dates) wasn't really healthy. And I didn't realise that shitty company is not gonna replace good company, it's only going to  take me farther away from it. So if you break up, just be gentle with yourself and just take some time. And I'm not gonna say Tinder is all bad, after all those dates I actually met someone worth mentioning for. So I'm obviously grateful, I'm pretty sure we would've never met without Tinder, but if I had another chance, I wouldn't be so desperate and sad about being alone. Being alone can be really amazing, once you get used to it. I'm still not 100% used to it, but like I said, I'm getting there. 

If my life was a film, I'd have walked out by now

Hi and welcome back. I seem to write to you only when something special happens, but I want that to change. I want to be able to write to you when something ordinary happens, when I see a good movie I want to share with you, when I finish a bad book I want to warn you about, when I find my favourite lipstick on sale or when everything else feels miserable and I want to share it with someone. 

 I visited Berlin a few days ago but I took my wrong camera lens with me and I couldn't take any proper photos for you to share. But I'm not too sad about that since I pretty much only went there to shop. And I bought a lot of things. When I arrived there I only had my pyjamas, my underwear and some makeup with me. When I left, my suitcase was so full and it weight 19.8kg.

Pack of tiny Nutella Jars for 10,90e from the airport

These Nutella jars were so cute that I just had to get them. I'm planning to store the jars when they're empty and use them for storage or something.

I'm a big fan of everything sickly sweet, so I had to get these two bottles when I saw them. I don't drink that much these days, but I have to find some excuse to drink these in near future.

10€ from Primark

One of my favourite things I bought is this metal arrow light thingy. You're supposed to put some batteries in it, but I like it this way too. It fits perfectly in my bookshelf!

4€ from Primark

A candle in a mug, how cute is that?! I've seen people doing these candles on their own, but I have to admit that I'm not a DIY type person, I'm too lazy to create things with my own hands.

I also got some other candles and I don't know why I keep buying them, cause I have a nosy cat and I can't burn any candles in our home because I'm scared she'll burn herself.

Ring holder for 6€ from Primark and blush set for 10,90€ from Kiko

I saw this amazing unicorn ring holder online and I crossed my fingers and really hoped that I would be able to find it. I was also really scared that it would break in my suitcase, but it was worth the risk.

This duo blush is my only make up related thing I bought during my trip, which really surprised me cause I'm usually pretty make up obsessed. 

Products for 2-5€ from Rossmann and Dm

Instead I bought some skincare products and some shampoos and such. These products were super cheap but it was kind of a pain in the ass to try and figure what product is what, since everything was in German. I used my common sense and I'm pretty sure I know what to use in which body part and I don't end up putting massage oil in my eye.
I've already used the shampoo, conditioner and eye makeup remover a few times and I'm really impressed so far.

Tiny beauty blenders for 3€ from Rossmann

These tiny beauty blenders are so cute! They're pretty hard compared to my original blender, but they are really handy when using concealer. 

Fur keyring for 4€ from Primark

This keyring has a mirror inside it and I was super excited about it until I found out that the magnet of it is really weak and the mirror keeps opening and closing. I have to find out if there's anything I can do about it since it would be really handy to carry around.

Fake septum rings for 3€ from Primark

I still have my septum pierced but I still like wearing fake ones cause they are so easy to wear and take off. Most of the fake septum I've seen are super big, but these are really tiny and pretty.

Sneakers for 55€ from Adidas Neo

I've been looking for some comfy yet cheap sneakers for a long time and I finally found a pair!

I'm pretty sure Adidas Neo is a cheaper brand under Adidas cause these shoes were so incredibly cheap. They seem really good quality and they are so comfortable.

Sweatpants 15€ and sweatshirt around 12€ from Primark

I really love all the NASA clothing Primark has.

Floral Adidas top for 15€ from TK Maxx, NASA top for 7€ from Primark and sport bra for 5€ from Primark

I was really stoked to find that Adidas top since it was so cheap and it's an older model. I've never visited TK Maxx, but they had all this sale stuff and everything was really cheap.

I Want to Believe shirt for 15€ from TK Maxx (By a brand called Dead Meat), Bowie shirt for 1€ from Primark and t-shirt with a slip top attached to it for 11€ from Primark

Bomber jacket for 20€ from Primark

I know pretty much everyone owns this kind of jacket, but it looks so good with everything and it's really comfy. And with that price I just couldn't leave it behind. I've wanted one in this deep maroon red, but I don't want to spend 40€ on a jacket when I can find one for half the price.

The secret to being alone is to organize your time; to develop habits and routines and gradually elevate their importance to where they seem almost like normal, healthy activities

Hi there!
I don't know how you found your way here, since I've decided not to advertise my blog for now.

The first words are always the hardest, no matter what I'm writing. I've wanted to write something. Apart from work and texting and Facebook I write nothing. I don't see myself as a good writer, cause I'm not, and writing isn't my passion, but I do miss writing to no one in particular. 

So what do I do these days? I work and study. It's really nice to know that I'm capable of doing so, cause at times thinking about future used to feel hopeless.

What am I going to blog about? It may come as a surprise, but I don't watch movies that often anymore. I just don't have the time and when I do I'm just used to doing something else.
Instead I read. I don't read as often as I'd like, cause work and school take most of my time, but I read as much as I can. So you will hear my book recommendations and books I don't recommend. Just books in general.
I also like everything beauty related, mostly makeup and skin care products. When I gained weight I kind of let myself go when it came to fashion. I just felt really ugly and bloated and I still kind of do, even when I've lost 6 kg. But then I found beauty. I didn't have to be skinny to look good when it came to beauty products. I might not be good at doing my makeup, but it is something I enjoy.

For my first post in ages I'm gonna show you some of my favourite beauty products (I'm already making a post of all the books I've read recently, so stay tuned!)

I just ordered some things from Beauty Bay. I had my previous Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade for months and I never run out, there's tons of product left. I just dyed my hair brown (ok, it looks really black) so I couldn't use my old blonde dipbrow anymore. If you've been looking at this product but were unsure because of the price, I advice you to just buy it. You won't have to buy a new one in a long time.
I've been using Gerard Cosmetic's Hydra Matte liquid lipstick in color Serenity and I absolutely adore it. It can be a bit drying on the lip, so I decided to try some of their lipsticks. I got the shades 1995 and French Toast.

I also ordered these Mario Badescu skin care products. I've heard so many great things about these but I've never tried any. I'm going to try and use these daily and maybe tell you more about them then. 

And here are some of my favourite makeup products at the moment. I've been really into pink shades in my eyelids, lips and cheeks.

Morphe 35T palette, Milani blush in Romantic Rose, Mary-Lou Manizer highlighter, Colourpop Ultra Matte Lips in Beeper and Solow, Lavera Glossy Lips in Sweet Melon, Gerard Cosmetics Hydra Matte liquid lipstick in Serenity, NYX Pore Filler primer, NYX Jumbo eye pencil in Yogurt, NYX Vivid Bright liquid eyeliner in Vivid Sapphire, NYX white liquid eyeliner and NYX Micro Brow pencil.

These are my favourite makeup brushes (I forgot to shoot Anastasia's brow brush #12, it is the best brush to use with Dipbrow Pomade). I've been drooling over Zoeva's vegan brush set, but it's pretty expensive and I can live without it (for now).

I really like Real Technique's and EcoTools brushes. They're very affordable and they're just perfect for my use.

I love these face creams from Mossa. They smell heavenly and they're very gentle (my face is super dry and red so I can't use anything too strong). I'm using day cream that smells like blueberries and night cream that smells like blackberry.

I ordered Queen Helene's peel-off masque and scrub from iHerb. I've loved both of them and they were super cheap too!

I've never used eye cream in my life. I think I convinced myself the same way I convinced myself that I don't need to wash my makeup off every night. My skin isn't going to stay young forever. I really like this Lavera eye cream. It has this pearl color that conceals dark under eye circles. And it smells amazing.

I've been using castor oil for a few weeks now and I can already see new lashes and hair on my brows growing.

I bought this Eau Roma Water from Lush a few months ago and I really love it. It smells amazing and it soothes my skins.

Extensions on left, natural hair on right.

I got these amazing Irresistible Me (click!) hair extensions ages ago, but I just wanted to show you them. I just recently dyed my hair back to brown (I really liked my kind of orange hair, but it was almost impossible to keep it good looking, it always started to fade at some places and my dark roots looked horrible) so I'm going to try and dye these extensions too. I'm going to show them to you as soon as I do it.

These are the thickest clip-on extensions I've ever seen. They're a bit on the expensive side, but they're so worth it. I can't even put every piece in my hair cause there's no room for them. I chose the silky touch extensions in color Silky Golden Blonde (#14) 

The book you don’t read won’t help

Someone on Instagram asked me to do a post about my favourite book and movie quotes. The idea was so great that I decided to do it right away! I'm going to do a post like this about my favourite movie quotes too very soon. Thank you for the idea!

I decided to write them by hand to give them a personal feel. I hope that you can properly see them and I hope that there's not too many typos.